Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
