i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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