Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
