I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
