Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
