well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Green mimosas i think yes
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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