all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
