Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
