I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
