You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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