so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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