Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
