I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
