Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
