you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
