he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
