Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
