a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
