ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
we should paint friendship bongs
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
