Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
