are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
