Me. At least after what I've been through.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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