She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
tell me about the eggs
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
