Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
