She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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