we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
