Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
