Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
