you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
