You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Oh god it's open bar.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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