So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Someone stole a lamp last night.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
