it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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