Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
