i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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