he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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