i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
