any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Randomize
