everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Still dying that you shit outside
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
