your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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