...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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