...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
