I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
