I think I won the penis lottery.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
