Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
