Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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