i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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