question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
