i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
We are two peas in an std pod
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
