You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
