it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
